Nearly there!

Collected my bib today. I have mixed feelings. It was a great expo, it had all the buzz and energy thats typical of a large marathon expo so I'm excited now but I'm also feeling pretty close to a nervous wreck. The butterflies that normally spawn in my stomach prior to race day are a hundred-fold this time around and premature by a week since the expo thats normally done the day before the event has been advanced to the weekend before the race. Given how my last two long runs have gone, I think my nervousness and lack of confidence is completely justified but I must talk myself out of it as these feelings are completely unhelpful.

To make matters worse, on Wednesday, I tripped over one of my cats (I think she did it on purpose!) and sprained my right ankle. Its not too bad but its not alright either leading to too much tapering on Taper week. By too much tapering I mean zero running. I have been working out and doing strength sessions (which now I'm wishing I had done more of during these past so many weeks) but haven't really run or walked during this week. Maybe tomorrow. And then maybe another short sweet shakeout run on Wednesday and then cross my fingers and hope for the best on Saturday.

Ever since last Sunday (after the abysmal run) I've entertained thoughts of dropping out of the race. I try and quickly push those thoughts out of my head and replace them with "I can run 20 miles. Its easy." It doesn't always work. Plus I'm still not completely over my second bout of flu and an irritating dry cough persists making it hard to get a good night's rest and so then recovery feels incomplete and it becomes all too easy to consider dropping out of the race. Then I figured, I've paid for the race so might as well go and collect the bib and goody bag (which was quite dismal) and then see how I feel after the shakeout run. Baby steps.  

On race day, I just need to complete the distance. Whether I run, walk or crawl, the aim is to just get to the finish line. I found out today that the cut off time for completing is 5 hours - which is great.. I figure even if I run/walk the 20 miles at 9'22" minutes to a km I can make it in the time. Which seems like plenty. Its sad though that after last week's run I have even lost confidence in my ability to walk to the finish line... :/ ... Wait, wait, positive thoughts! "I can run 20 miles. Its easy."